Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Worse thing about flirting with disaster is when disaster turns away and says, "Ew." 
Apologies to all you millennials -- the Disney Channel never prepared you for all this.
Bruce Willis to return for Die Hard 6. Working titles are "Die Hard: Speak Up Please" and "Die Hard: When I was your age"
Instead of reading Hugh Hefner's obituary I'm just gonna look at the pictures.
If North Korea hits us, I think the Military should kneel down and let the NFL players handle it.
leave it to Hugh Hefner to die on hump day
I find it very funny that all the women who say Trump is a sexist pig are saying farewell to Hugh Hefner who did nothing but exploit women all his life....
Sure I will read Hugh Hefner's obituary. But only for the articles.
Twitter is going to 280 characters? That is so awesome, T rum p can now piss off twice as many people.
Y'all. I thought we were all streaking as an homage to Hugh Hefner. Anyway, I'm gonna need bail money. Again.
I wonder how long it took for the Playmates to realize that Hugh's Viagra had worn off and rigor mortis had set in...
Any man that dates me better have my beer ready when I get home like my cats do
Me and Hugh Hefner had a lot in common................we both owned more than one bathrobe.
To honor Hugh Heffner, all erections will be at half staff today
Ok, I've never thought much of Hugh Hefner, but you have to appreciate the irony. The creator of Playboy expires on a Wednesday-Hump Day.
RIP Hugh Hefner. A remarkable life. Fans of his work are now doing something they’re quite accustomed to - grabbing a tissue.
you Americans have it SO WRONG ON YOUR AIRPLANES. I'm just saying!
How fitting is it Hugh Hefner died on hump day
Hugh Heffner...the only person who we can truly say is not in a better place now...
As a Disabled Veteran let me make my opinion very clear. If you take a knee during the National Anthem you are not disrespecting me. YOU ARE HONORING ME. I sacrificed for your freedom to make that choice. 