Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   wearing spray on pants.

   in your mum's extended network.

   I just wish my mouth had a backspace key

   "focus- Oh look, a squirrel! "

   had his left side removed. He's all right now

   let the dogs out

   eating pasta with chopsticks.

   almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left him before they met.

   going around in circles

   going back to the future

   writing her acceptance speech for the upcoming Grammy's.

   making a career of this.

   takes your breath away.

   kissed a girl and she liked it.

   panicking at the disco

   made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   a case of the Mondays when all he wants is a case of beer.

   like that and that's the way it is

   so jobless that he's replying every spam message

   pondering why in the hell people type so much in their status box