Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   can't go to a nudist wedding, Women might mistake me for the Bestman."

   Love is photogenic...it needs darkness to develop."

   reuse, recycle, regift.

   wonders if there are gay terrorists. "Hey, Mr. Embassy man... two snaps ka-boom!"

   says "The early bird gets the worm, but the night owl gets the tequila!!"

   wonders if there are gay terrorists. I bet they'd wear fancy explosive underwear.

   Came home from work last nite just plain tired so I sat down to relax - five minutes later there was a knock on the door - it was my rear just catching up

   has a thing going with X's wife. Wait... all this third person stuff has X and me confused!

   thinks you're his smartest and best-looking friend on Facebook. (Thanks for not telling the others.)

   finally understood reality is an illusion. It is created by the lack of alcohol...

   thinks reality is a nice place to live, but sometimes feels like relocating

   I love the idea of Canada and America sitting down for a bud and a labatts. While we're at it we should have some apple pie and some poutine. America and Canada are like two brothers. We may argue alot but in the end we're family. Hey america. you ROCK!

   if the olympics had a gold medal for procastination...i'd probably win it...but i'd go recieve it later ;)

   believes the IOC will support Chile by sending over 10 million "USA Hockey 2010 Olympic Champions" t-shirts that they won't need after todays game!

   don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.

   all I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

   I think it's cute to see the Canuckians and Yanks argue. Admit it,you both love this rivalry. You'd share a Labatts and a Bud anyday.Congrats, Canada but it was close.

   remember this, at least canada gave us hockey and a few good actors

   living each day as if it were his last: That Korean massage parlor is on to him though. They stopped giving him dying-day happy-ending discounts.

   living each day as if it were his last: The cashier at Krispy Kreame knows him by name.