Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Because of Facebook, I paid my internet bill early.

   The wall should have been built before the pilgrims came to this land.

   Facebook stopped working so some of y’all can get on Indeed.

   This is what happens when you order a president through the mail.

   Today on the History Channel: The world went crazy because...social media went missing for a few hours and they ended up getting work done...watch the devastating 5 part series saga

   Looks like facebook put itself in facebook jail

   Facebook went down on millions of users and all I can say is, You Whore!

   You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game? That's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.

   Sorry I slapped you, didn't seem like you would stop talking so I panicked.

   Not sure how people will react when they find out I'm actually a robot.

   In China, forklifts are called chop-stick lifts.

   Sold my homing pigeon 142 times last year on eBay.

   Has lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how it feels.

   Just pulled on a nose hair and one of my pubes disappeared.

   I hate when we go on a weekend trip and my wife forgets to pack her vagina.

   If she spits on her hot-dog before eating it, you are in for a treat my man.

   Jeremiah was and still is a bullfrog, but he has never caught a rabbit and he certainly aint no friend of mine.

   Five years investigating Trump’s taxes and Biden owes 500k. Lol

   What I learned from Gilligan's Island: You can go camping for five years wearing a pair of white pants and they will still look brand new.

   If my call is that important to them, why do I have to listen to Air Supply for 20 minutes before they answer?