Funny Status Message #204365

X says My husband and dog are a lot alike. They both want what I’m eating and get startled awake by their own farts.
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# 207659 My husband and dog are a lot alike. They both want what I’m eating and get startled awake by their own stinky farts.
# 33258 Did you know that no two farts are exactly alike? It's true. Farts are sort of like snowflakes in that regard. Little, invisible, smelly, snowflakes.
# 59707 My alarm jolted me awake this morning. I hit the snooze button. When it startled me again ten minutes later I threw it across the room and fell right back to sleep. Ten minutes later my girlfriend's cat jumped up onto my chest meowing... Sorry kitty.

←Rate | 01-11-2022 12:45

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