Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   What's next TLC...a little person that's a 600 pound tattooed Gypsy Polygamist woman wearing the wrong clothes with a family of 63 kids risking it all to return to the Amish hording ex husband and 6 ex wives to eat cakes like a boss and buy houses naked

   The Ku Klux Klan. Worth joining just to find out the name of the laundry powder they use.

   I just got a snack, and the animals did not hear it... I might be a ninja!

   Really, Google Autdetect? What makes you think I want to search for a hardcore poem?

   I always give girls a lollipop on the first date as an ice breaker and so I know what I can expect

   Why can't effing niqqers resolve issues without always beating the $hit out of someone??

   Big bulletin from Phoenix: Katy Perry's robotic tiger is loose in downtown Phoenix.

   Charles Manson was going to get married. He's 80 years old, and serving a life sentence in prison. Well, the marriage is off. And today I saw that his profile was back on eHarmony

   Hoes wanting to see 50 Shades Of Grey over the SpongeBob movie is what is wrong with this world.

   If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.

   Cannot wait for this new Magic Mike movie -Said no man ever

   4 years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times

   i really don"t need to know that you liked your own status...

   The tax revenue from Michael Moore would make a serious dent in the federal deficit.

   Jordanian pilot Moaz al-Kasasbeh showed no fear on the face of death, not like them face covering isis pussies.

   When asked about ISIS yesterday, Obama said, "We will double our efforts..." Hmmm... If my math is correct... Nothing x Nothing is still Nothing!

   Just got back from a third world country - I got my box full of Seattle Seahawks 49th Superbowl champions shirt suckers...

   What Meatloaf wouldn't do for love I would probably do for a six pack.

   Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.

   I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.