Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ice Bucket Challenge = Monkey see Monkey Do

   Seems like my body should have better things to do than make ear hair.

   I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.

   From 8am until 11:59 a.m,,,, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch

   While the folks in Ferguson are busy protesting, Mexicans are taking their jobs...

   Facts never seem to matter to a lynch mob.

   I now nominate all of you for the ALS ice pick to the head challenge.

   You can now buy booze at Starbucks. So apparently my letter-writing campaign paid off.

   My father dies from ALS, get off the subject and start writing funny stuff...

   patiently waiting for the "No-Bra" Ice bucket challenge

   Need help drafting a weed smoking NFL fantasy team. That way they won't miss any games due to suspensions...

   This ice water challenge for ALS is over rated.. I did it to the wife while she was sleeping. Now she has Tourettes Syndrome.

   Next up, The Jump off a Bridge Challenge...

   I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.

   I wish someone would post an "Ice bucket challenge" video

   Before you begin, I’m legally obligated to tell you I don’t care.

   I never smile in public. Smiles invite people to talk.

   Our Government will swap 5 known terrorists for a deserter, yet won’t lift a hand to save an American civilian.

   All the water "wasted" in the Ice Bucket Challenges would not be enough to help Third World countries. It's just a drop in the ocean.

   So, the prisoner exchange for Sgt. Bergdahl was illegal. I guess we are going to have to send him back.