Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   snow in Egypt in the dessert, Egyptian police report camel's slipping and sliding, Egyptian Utilities report all 25 customer's without power.

   Apparently someone is stabbed in Detroit every 54 secs. It must suck to be that guy.

   The truth is anyone who thinks we're still having global warming should look at what is happening in Egypt and realize that they're in DE-NILE. (Sorry I couldn't resist)

   Just got home and found all the doors and windows open everything gone! What kind of person does that to someones Advent calender?

   Megyn Kelly said "Jesus and Santa Claus are white" well if they weren't they live in Detroit and East St. Louis!

   US and Chinese warships play game of chicken, Kim Jong said " hey you two.... Uncle!

   We are slaves to the NRA....take a moment today and remember Newtown's victims.....

   Al Gore is an idiot!

   Kanye West?......I've never heard of her!

   Parents, I need some advice please. What's the right age to explain to children that FOX news isn't real? Thanks

   Snow and cold weather does NOT mean there is no Climate Change. How stupid can people be

   Sometimes I wonder if the weird guy I work with thinks I am the weird guy.

   People who say marriage is only between a man and a woman underestimate my love for pizza.

   Iran sends monkey into space, the UN needs to check that, they might be building a zoo up there!

   I'm the man from Nantucket.

   I just got a copy of Santa's naughty list and it is almost identical to my frields list.

   I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.

   Monopoly has come out with a new version of its board game to commemorate President Obama.....all the properties have half their value and the money has been replaced with foodstamps

   My imaginary friends can beat your real friends ....

   I've been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea what the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button is for