Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can't talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao

   70 years after WW2, and LeBron James has America rooting for the German. SMH, Congratulations Mavericks......

   I went outside once.... The animation was alright, but the characters and story line sucked.

   I bet Cleveland is cheering louder than Dallas. Way to go Mavs!

   DALLAS - (D)irk (A)int (L)etting (L)ebron (A)ss (S)hine

   I wonder if Lebron & Wade are gonna mock Dirk holding up the trophy?

   in Dos Equis Man voice... " Lebron's game doesn't always disappear, but when it does he prefers the playoffs"

   City of Dallas just announced tomorrow is Lebron James Day. Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

   Lazy Rule #19401957294710149: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.

   Apple is coming out with a new phone. It's called the Lebron james edition. It's silent and has no rings

   I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am alive because i'ma a fighter. I am wise because i've been foolish. and I've laughed because i've known sadness.

   You put a little vodka in the Jello shots and its all ok, but let me put in a little cystal meth and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.....

   im not weired... you just dont know me well enough

   hey look on the bright side LeBron. you have all those endorsement deals including the one who just called for you. wants you to be the new face of the board game "sorry"

   ■Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade

   Put a woman in a car and she drives like she's the only one on the road and crashes into everything - Put her on the bumper cars at a theme park and she drives cautiously around the outside and avoids hitting anything.

   I keep all the extra buttons that come with clothes just in case I ever need an extra 973 buttons

   Nike is coming out with a new Lebron ringtone app for I-phone.....the only problem is it dont have any RINGS!!!!

   Woke up with a smile after noticing I have as many NBA rings as LeBron.

   Got this great new calorie counting app. Each day I go for a new high score.