Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 6053 of 6455

   messageicon Pro Tip: Hula Hoops were once banned in Japan for causing "obscene movements".
←Rate | 07-25-2016 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little bit about me, I'm a Capricorn and I was named after a horse thief that had troubles maintaining an erection.
←Rate | 08-05-2016 05:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We don't like any of this! Wait, we LOVE this thing here!" -The Internet
←Rate | 08-09-2016 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte joins latest "Dancing with the Stars" cast, claims Tom Bergeron robbed him at gunpoint.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to be a downer but after being gone for 33 years now I'm starting to suspect that my Dad isn't still out buying cigarettes....
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Traitor Joe: Hmmm,, how can I regain people's trust AND sell groceries at the same time?
←Rate | 08-29-2016 21:28 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Critiquing what local business owners do with their hands on 30 second spots since 1984.
←Rate | 08-30-2016 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just hope that one day I'll have an infectious disease named after me.
←Rate | 09-15-2016 15:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race, but then I remember there are grown ups who like Pokémon Go.
←Rate | 09-17-2016 11:40 by @ryanmilano Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may be raining now but it will brighten up later on today. What time are you available?
←Rate | 09-22-2016 05:15 by A ray of sunshine Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who decided that the phrase should be “I’m getting dressed” instead of the more masculine “I’m getting trousered”?
←Rate | 09-22-2016 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a notice from the HOA that I didn't post a pic of my kid at a pumpkin patch.
←Rate | 10-25-2016 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's all gather 'round the LED campfire simulation and listen to Grandpa play his accordion app on his cellular telephone in the best Hallowen party idea ever!!!
←Rate | 10-28-2016 02:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make sure to put the letter "L" in the world clocks when you google grandfather clocks.
←Rate | 01-02-2019 05:55 by Joker Comments (1)  


   messageicon Cupid is the perfect symbol for Valentine's Day. Because nothing fills me with love more than a fat baby firing arrows at my butt.
←Rate | 02-15-2019 10:18 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Love that feature facebook has that saves so much time scrolling the news feed you can find by going to settings then scrolling down the menu to the last botton on the bottom called log out.
←Rate | 03-09-2019 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's down and I am poised at conquering the world!
←Rate | 03-14-2019 10:25 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were lucky that we didnt have Exit Polls during our school times.Otherwise, our parents would have started thrashing us 3-4 days in advance of results
←Rate | 05-19-2019 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place spirit.
←Rate | 06-15-2019 14:13 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever feel like the best thing in the world happens to you at the worst times?
←Rate | 07-05-2019 00:18 by DocNoland Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left