Funny Status Messages

   INSTALLING RAIN FOR TEXAS ████ 44% DONE... please wait. Installation failed. Please try again.404 error:Rain not found. Weather "Rain" cannot be located. The weather you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed or temp. unavai

   Ever wonder why some people wait 'til they're in their cars and stopped at traffic lights to pick their noses?

   B*I*T*C*H - Babe In Total Control of Herself

   Barbie is going to be so happy. She is getting over the fact that Ken comes in a different box.

   When people ask me if I want to stay on their friends list I just send a short message saying "Don't Taze me Bro"

   Algebra is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry.

   I wouldnt want to live in the s**thole even if it was called Hati

   Donald Trump claims to only be 236 pounds. His pot belly, turkey neck and jowls plead the fifth.

   Four years has past and we's not alls rich yet. What in the moonshine happened?

   Why are there no professional ball scratchers? On behalf of men everywhere, let me say this... they'd make a fortune.

   I love Halloween, it is the one day of the year people don't question my sanity.

   Everyone over here doing the 10 year challenge while metaverse is doing the facial recognition challenge.

   don't forget, I'm also just a girl; dressed upas a slutty nurse; standing in front of a boy; dressed up as Donald Trump; asking him to finger bang her in the alley before she sobers up.

   If Hillary wins, all public government announcements will begin with: Ladies, Gentlemen and Trannies....

   CNN has confirmed the intercepted communication was a call to a brothel ordering a young lady willing to pee on an old man. The John was unnamed, but everyone could tell who it was.

   "How to tweet while on the seat" by guess who.

   Unfortunately for The Donald, he can't fake a Foot injury to get out of this war.

   Was thinking about ordering P90X, but I just had to take a knee midway through pouring a glass of sweet tea, so maybe I'll just go lie down instead.

   Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

   words of wisdom: a woman will ALWAYS have the last words in any/all argument(s) ... anything said after that, is the beginning of a new argument...