Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Girls with big boobs never have to worry about having spinach stuck in their teeth.

   Of course I do respect the dead. I don't respect anyone unless they are dead anyway.

   Tiger Woods has gotten so bad that bl@ck people are starting to acknowledge his other nationalities.

   My pleasant personality is brought to you this morning by several strong cups of coffee.

   Happy ATMs day!!

   some people build walls to see who cares enough to bring them down, others build walls because they’re in the construction industry.

   A toothbrush. If you let a woman bring one into your house, it’s no longer your house.

   A selfie a day keeps the daddy issues at bay

   If you're happy and you know it slap your face.

   My idea of a blind date is not removing your blind fold.

   I'm the Michael Jordan of all sports, because I haven't played any since like 2003.

   This girl seems like the kind of person who uses a lot of hand gestures when she's talking to her gynecologist on the phone.

   Everything I can't have is overrated... including you.

   I hate when I'm stalking someone and another interesting person comes up and I get confused on which one I should continue to stalk.

   Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.

   There is no difference between an idiot and an educated person when it comes to doing irational atrocities in the name of religion.

   The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.

   Kristen Stewart seems like one of those missing milk carton kids who was raised by their kidnapper.

   Nothing like seeing 30+ year old wearing a cap backwards to remind you that your life doesn’t suck that much.

   If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom then you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.