Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   6 of those Extreme Coupon people could fix the entire US Budget.

   I have no respect for today's gangs! They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days, like in ''West Side Story'', the gangs used to dance with eachother first!!

   Just once when they interview a serial killer's neighbor I'd like to hear them say "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, I told people for years he was gonna do this"

   People who try to get on camera in live news report backgrounds clearly haven't been punched enough in their lifetime.

   The girl I'm dating has a kid who just started high school. She wanted ME of all people to have a talk with him about "the birds and the bees" We talked for about 4 hours, and I gotta tell ya, I learned A LOT.

   Sometimes people suck the life out of me like there's a prize at the bottom.

   If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear.

   Nice try fat families with stick figure people on the back of their van

   If there weren't geeks in this world, then there'd be no cool people. I'd like to thank all the geeks.

   Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

   I don't confront people. I was raised right. I talk stuff behind their backs. It's called manners.

   Beautiful people and ugly people basically look the same by 80. So hang in there ugly people!

   Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.

   Just saw two people together at a restaurant and neither of them were texting anyone. Weird.

   thinks he might be addicted to Facebook because he's seeing a lot of random people around the city, that he's already seen on Facebook....

   Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions....

   Cell phones ruined pushing people in the pool.

   I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

   Dracula + Tinkerbell = Edward Cullen. He is not a VAMPIRE. He doesn't feed on PEOPLE, he lives in the forest, and he sparkles. He is CLEARLY a Fairy.

   I wake up relatively happy every morning. Then I interact with other people and things change quickly.