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I have nothing to update. I'm just making it look like I'm doing something at a party so people won't talk to me.
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07-16-2017 07:10 by
andrew jackson
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I'm glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
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08-22-2017 13:43
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Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
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09-14-2017 07:56
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Don't tickle the dragon unless you're ready for the fire.
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09-20-2017 19:54
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How to save money this Halloween. Place an empty bowl out with a sign. Please only take one piece of candy.
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10-10-2017 18:45 by
Jake
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I prefer to think of myself as a "Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer" because it has just the right amount of flair. Besides, "stalker" is such an ugly word.
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11-29-2018 10:19
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"did I catch you at a bad time?" "yeah, I'm awake and sober"
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12-09-2018 09:32 by
Kisstopher707
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Alexa, clean up my act!
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12-12-2018 06:09
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It's really cold out there folks. If you're heading out to Walmart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
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01-04-2019 15:48 by
Bob
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I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It's useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non-removable screws.
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01-09-2019 14:21
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The minute you post an incorrect spelllling on line you find a hundred unemployed Teachers on social sites!
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01-31-2019 02:55
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The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.
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02-05-2019 16:03 by
Joker
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I have my doubts about all these new "smart waters" considering how easily they were captured and bottled
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05-10-2019 12:39 by
Mylez
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Nothing you can ever accomplish will make your parents any happier than the first time you slept through the night.
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06-11-2019 06:41
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Restaurant toilets are so dangerous. So many of my dates have gone there and never some back.
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07-12-2019 09:11
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If anyone sees that woman drying her bra by holding it out of the car window please tell her I love her
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08-08-2019 06:07
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Anyone who doesn't request unlimited salad and breadsticks as their last meal is an idiot
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08-21-2019 15:09
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"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?" "It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."
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08-25-2019 16:18
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For next season’s “survivor” series, let’s get 16 politicians and force them to live on minimum wage.
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10-01-2019 04:50 by
Crewzey
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Less than two weeks until Canadian Thanksgiving. Better start marinating the beaver.
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10-02-2019 05:59
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