love Funny Status Messages

   Before I fall in love I usually fall over the barstool.

   I see you drivin ’round town with a girl I love, and I’m like, it’s nice that she has alternative transportation.

   I really spoiled her today. First I bought her a lovely new scent. Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body and then I did the vacuuming and dusting. I f** love my BMW!

   I love it when people see me reach for something on the floor and keep missing it like a moron. I quickly tell them I'm working on my aerobics exercises....

   I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping: 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size

   But if you can't see your Christmas decorations from space, do you really love Jesus?

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   There are some souls you meet and you know right away you'll love them forever and laugh together in heaven or fry together in hell.

   I love eating ice soup the day before every pay day.

   I just love Cinemax late at night , don't you?

   If love isn't a game, then why are there so many players ?

   Me: Tell me about yourself. Her: Well, I love to laugh! Me: Wow, how unique! Next…

   Romance works because ladies love dumb stuff and they are easily swayed by meaningless gestures. That's why all dudes have the same technique. It's called lying.

   posting "I love you!!!" today on Facebook is the equivalent to shouting it from the top of a mountain back in the day.

   So my son keeps getting in trouble at school so I go to meet his teacher and she is Hot.. So after I left the teacher my son says " so now can you see why I love getting asked to stay after class". What can you say to that!!!..jamie wallis

   I love You Tube. You can look up everthing. It's Google the Movie musical

   the more guys I meet, the more I love my dog :)

   I love the taste of tuna, but I'm not a fan of the smell. This is true about something else as well, but I can't put my finger in it. Hmm.

   i love when my parents go away and leave me money for food.. little do they know I spend it on drugs and alcohol!

   Love is like a rubber band. At first we keep on pulling and pulling. Then when someone let go, it hurts the person who holds on.