santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.
←Rate | 12-04-2019 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The holidays are always tough on me.... One year for Christmas , I made a gingerbread house that wasn't up to code & it collapsed on a tiny, little gingerbread family. Still haunts me.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to know what rhymes with "Hug me" Love, Robin Thicke
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am trying to get into the Christmas "spirit" but can't get the bottle open...
←Rate | 12-05-2019 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW TO WRAP PRESENTS: - Ask somebody else to wrap presents
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm 45 and I would still be tickled pink to wake up Christmas morning to a Barbie Dream House with accessories.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas tree by the lines of duct tape around the box it's stored in.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop
←Rate | 12-14-2017 05:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 08:46 by vaterpop Comments (0)  


   messageicon We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
←Rate | 12-09-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You should worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. :-)
←Rate | 11-19-2018 14:13 by Pilgrim Comments (1)  


   messageicon In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.
←Rate | 11-15-2018 18:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 09:30 Comments (0)  




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