santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 09:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good news for insomniacs! Only 2 more sleeps to Christmas!
←Rate | 11-14-2018 06:29 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
←Rate | 12-09-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Ho ho oh my God I can’t stop giggling!” -Santa Claus, after eating cookies in homes across Canada
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen" So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.
←Rate | 10-26-2018 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop
←Rate | 12-14-2017 05:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.
←Rate | 11-15-2018 18:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You should worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. :-)
←Rate | 11-19-2018 14:13 by Pilgrim Comments (1)  


   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili's at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I've decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili's.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz Comments (0)  


   messageicon its christmas time. lets see some funnies and not democratic bull
←Rate | 12-19-2017 05:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 11:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
←Rate | 12-13-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?
←Rate | 09-27-2018 01:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
←Rate | 01-06-2017 08:36 Comments (0)  




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