Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   expierencing difficulties coping with the limbostic stages of his transitional existence.

   Why haven't we seen a photo of Rep. Weiner's backside? Can't have a wiener without a bun.......Right??

   when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it but she is giving you a 2nd change to say it right

   Hears that the youth in Asia are in mourning after the death of Dr Kevorkian

   WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.

   'm so afraid to tweet. What if ankle X-ray gets in hands of unintended recipient like dermatologist? Do I resign? And if so, from what?

   There are so many better reasons to riot other than hockey... like a shoe sale!

   Life is all about ideas and who has the better one..

   My girl is sweet...I am now a member of her BENEFITS program...!!!!

   Just told my girlfriend to call me before she heads home so I will have time to get the beer, smoke and strippers out of here and she "thins" I was joking.

   instead of supporting the stop snitching movement, some people need to support the stop doing dumb sh*t to get arrested movement.

   I'm not sayin she's the fattest girl I've ever seen but if I had to name the top 5, shed be the first 3..

   I tried to change my password to PE-NIS but the computer said it wasn't long enough

   Miss the days when rappers used to rap about real sh*t, now they rap about candy likes its gangsta to eat a lollipop.

   You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

   my status is just an another update on the wall !

   i didn't know Jonah Hill was gonna be on Dancing with the Stars ...this should be interesting.

   Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.,,

   Facebook should a "More than Friends" Request button or basically a "F#@K Buddy" request!

   That automatic "via" message changed this week..... Just my way of quietly telling Apple to f*ck off!