Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Women. Always want to be choked at the wrong time. 
So when Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook did he say "Let there be likes"?
How do people know Dinosaurs roared if nobody ever heard them do it?! ...Maybe, They Meowed
theres the old saying "you are what you eat"....glad I'm not in Britian eating horse's ass
There's a light is in the refrigerator, but not the freezer. I mean, what's up with that?
Unicorns eventually got into rough @n@l-play. And that's why they're extinct.
Whats two tamp00ns say while walking down the road, NOTHING, there stuck up b!cthes
Went out and mercifully shot my tomato plants this morning. It was the right thing to do. They were so sick and the government wouldn't help me because I am not legally a farmer....the one died right away, but the second took two bullets.
A good woman knows her limits...... A wise woman knows she has none."
if she swollows, is that canabalism?
Bathrooms are weird. Why does the $hit room have a solid door but the jackoff room has a glass door? I don’t care if my wife walks in on me while I’m crapping…
Smart phones may be great for tittie pics but they suck when your co-worker just had a baby…
n't that normal?? Doesn't everyone pee in the shower?
No matter how many times I watch Transformers, I always want Megan Fox to survive.
Not being able to see the forest for the bears is a lot worse.
Dinosaurs aren't extinct, they're just hiding.
goin' skinny dippin' in the Cement Pond with Elly Mae.
a ring is round and never ends and that's how long that we'll be friends
I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
A soulpatch is like a Corvette for your face. 