Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I still can't believe it! It does exist! Yes, just read that actually there is a place called "Canadian Hurricane Center"! Honest!

   doing the 'Fandango'...

   didn't wake up to meet your expectations, He/her woke up to go to the bathroom.

   slowly going insane... just to get away from all these normal ppl... O.o

   believes that knowing when to say nothin' is not easily learned and impossible to teach......

   The Backstreet Boys are boycotting British Petroleum. I think I'll wait to see what the New Kids on the Block are going to do.

   I swear the vending machine starts talking to me when I'm on a diet. @Squishy_Penguin

   Do what you love, and the money will follow, unless what you love is Facebook.

   Whadda mean you don't have my reserved "World's Greatest Lover Don Juan Cassanova Halloween Outfit"???!!! ........ and NO... I don't want to be Tinkerbell ! :

   January is my least favorite month. So...no Dr. Pepper chaser with the bourbon. Nuff said. New Years resolutions back in the drawer. Whew, I thought I was gonna have to do a third sit-up. Praise the Lord and hand me that ice bucket.

   I can still see my feet, so seconds is still allowed.

   I'm excited for the one day of the year when green's meaning shifts from saving the environment to polluting our major organs

   One of the unsung signs of depression is throwing away fast food trash in your bathroom trashcan.

   There's probably no problem in the world that can't be resolved by a good ol' fashioned Facebook survey.

   taken what I can get.. But I am not settling for anything less than what I want..

   I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. --Vonnegut

   I refuse to let a woman make a fool out of me and I refuse to let any female take me out of my character.

   I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff will come down for a while. B

   heard that NASA astronauts are moving items today out of retiring shuttle Discovery, in hopes of getting their security deposit back.

   The Internet has passed newspapers for the first time as a news source for Americans. Of course, without newspapers the Internet is pretty much Facebook and Twitter.