Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
OK. We are going into a new year.
Be good and dont touch anything.. 
Toast, and Bacon and eggs all walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
United States: High Fructose Corn Syrup.
In Melania's defence, in her country it is considered a compliment to plagiarize a speech from the previous First Lady.
I can't wait for her I have a dream speech in November! -hillary
It isn't Hillary who I can't stand...it's her fans.
The Democratic and Republican parties that we once knew no longer exist. Extremists to the left of me, control freaks to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with broads.
Mother Teresa has been canonized. She's no longer Catholic fan fiction.
80's - Republicans vote for an actor. 10's - Republicans vote for a reality star. ...Why do they still blame Hollywood for everything?
Frankly Auto-correct, I am getting tired of your shirt!
[Juice Bar]...... (Wildebeest disguised as man): 36 shots of wheat grass.... (Lion disguised as Bartender): Follow me out back "sir"..... *hyenas laugh*
Real friends are very special, but you have to be careful because sometimes you have a friend and you think they are made of rock, then suddenly you realise they're only made of sand.
it just co-incidence that they chose the most one dimensional movie of the "Star Wars" franchise "The Phantom Menace" to make into the first 3D movie ?
Help! I'm an heiress trapped in the life of a peasant.
signed up for the wrong college courses... apparently I'm a rhinocologist..
Hornrimmed glasses are back..and uglier than ever
was worried about the tornado warning...then I looked around the house and realized it had already touched down.
All I ask is that you wait until after St. Patrick's Day if you happen to be planning my intervention.
Any time you hear someone say, "Bless his heart, but" you know the next thing out of their mouth will be negative.ive.
Ba careful darling, you've got something on your ass… my eyes. 