santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I'm white, but I'm not 'buy a Christmas gift for the Mailman' white.

   Well, time to get dressed and go Christmas shopping. What time does Walgreens close?

   Santa wants to know if you have been naughty or nice this year... And if you were naughty, did you video it???

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? - You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

   dear Santa, let me explain...

   i like to say a BIG HAPPY CHRISTMAS to the person who dropped money on the floor today.thank you

   If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.

   For Christmas I gave myself an obscene amount of vodka. I'm so thoughtful.

   While discussing the costliness of gifts, my wife's family has decided to draw names out of a hat for Christmas on Thanksgiving Day this year. Too bad I couldn't draw the name of a different family altogether for Christmas.

   Dear Santa, Don't bring me anything this year as I've got every thing I need. Tyrone, aged 7 from Baltimore

   ✔ Food ✔ Beer ✔ More food ✔ Suit ✔ Laundry ✔ Wine ❒ Christmas Gifts ..... Damn

   Dear Facebook Family...Thanks for being the Joy to my World...Merry Christmas!

   I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer....

   I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.

   Here comes the 2010 Christmas post all over again ...

   TAMPAX have announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel..this is for the christmas period only!

   I bought my girlfriend a 10lb bag of future diamonds for Christmas...Thank you Kingsford!

   My kids are lucky, their crossing guard dresses as Santa every year. When I was a kid my crossing guard looked like Carla from Cheers.

   ♫♪♫....I'm beginning to think I'm blocked for Christmas...♫♪♫

   I don't always cut down a fresh Christmas tree..but when I do, I pick the best one in my neighbors yard ;)