Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 1 of 5960

   messageicon Trump told us before to vote for anyone running against lying Ted, and that's what I'm gonna do.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 15:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump bashing will never get old.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 13:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Enough with the Trump bashing. It is getting really old. Can we stick to the funny stuff please?
←Rate | 10-23-2018 11:52 by BillClinton Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you try to heat a tortilla on the stove and let pieces get stuck on the coils your parents failed you
←Rate | 10-23-2018 10:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't give me any of your attitude. I already have plenty of my own.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 10:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A Florida man who was arrested for allegedly groping a female passenger while on a flight reportedly told authorities that the president of the United States says it's OK to grab women by their private parts.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 09:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once, I'd like to see a judge take the verdict slip from the jury, look at it, and then turn and say, "ARE YOU SHlT'N ME?!"
←Rate | 10-23-2018 08:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like China. I sold an appartment building for 15 million to someone from China.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 03:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not useing lobbyist or donors money. I'm really rich. So I'm useing my own money,
←Rate | 10-23-2018 03:16 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I will be the best jobs president ever created.
←Rate | 10-23-2018 03:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has "stump" broke the record for being the dumbest flip flopping president yet?
←Rate | 10-23-2018 00:11 by IDTN Comments (4)  

   messageicon Flip flop trump now says "lying ted is beautiful ted. "
←Rate | 10-22-2018 22:05 by IDTN Comments (4)  

   messageicon I'm that type of a guy who puts a song on repeat until the artist begs for water
←Rate | 10-22-2018 21:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon . A Hypochondriac is a person who can't leave well enough alone.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 21:43 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Come on people he’s now threatening to back out of a nuclear arms deal imposed in the 80’s just to prove a point that doesn’t need to be made. You’re paychecks aren’t any bigger.. your taxes aren’t any lower. Do what’s right! Please!
←Rate | 10-22-2018 21:41 by Meh! Comments (5)  

   messageicon When the police shut down the town brothel. There was a sign that read, beat it, this brothel is closed.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 21:31 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon The villians from, The Hills Have Eyes, reminds me of Trump supporters.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 20:59 Comments (2)  

   messageicon I try to see things from "his" point of view. But I can't stick my head that far up my a**.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 20:31 by IDTN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to your 40's. You now yawn so hard, you shake.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 06:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Light travels faster then sound. This is why some people appear bright untill you hear them speak.
←Rate | 10-22-2018 00:25 by Haha Comments (0)  


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left