Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 1 of 5956

   messageicon Oh who.... Oh who will be the next chief of staff.... Oh who..... Oh who will it be? No one seem to want to take the job.... Oh who.... Oh who will it be ?
←Rate | 12-13-2018 06:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 12/11 Pence shuts down during oval office meeting.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 06:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm voting for "individual two" in 2020.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 04:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chump got screwed by his own pecker.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 02:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Elf on a shelf. Trump on a stump. Pence on a fence. Huckabee in a tree. Kellyanne in a garbage can.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 01:53 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Super pissed ha ha ha ha
←Rate | 12-13-2018 01:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For those of you that didn’t know I went to Harvard now you know I lie.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 01:14 by @gee.rardo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care about a politician's tax returns. I want to see their IQ tests.
←Rate | 12-12-2018 20:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a moral compass, but it always seems to point south.
←Rate | 12-12-2018 09:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alexa, clean up my act!
←Rate | 12-12-2018 06:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mannequin Pence was thinking; if I keep my eyes closed will Mueller still see me?! 😆
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wait till they realize that Frosty has no pants and smokes a pipe in front of children.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 21:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Great White House interview today. Two adults and a baby, and also a mannequin known as Pence, in a chair!
←Rate | 12-11-2018 16:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kevin McCallister's parents has to be the most dimwitted parents ever not to realize that Buzz is the cause of their family's problems.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 14:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.
←Rate | 12-11-2018 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So how did happen?
←Rate | 12-10-2018 21:15 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some girl just asked me out, well she actually told me to get out of my store, but I know what she really meant
←Rate | 12-10-2018 19:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googleing What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?
←Rate | 12-10-2018 01:01 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Oh wow, someone sent me a fruitcake. I'm going to eat it right now!" said no one ever.
←Rate | 12-09-2018 10:39 Comments (0)  


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left