Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon LaVar Ball's feud with Donald Trump pays off as his Big Baller Brand sees $13 million worth of free publicity. Guess who is laughing all the way to the bank?
←Rate | 11-23-2017 22:11 Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's been confirmed: Donald Trump did nothing to get LaVar Ball’s son released from China. I'm so embarrassed.
←Rate | 11-23-2017 20:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for Trump telling me what to do and how to act, because I have no mind of my own.
←Rate | 11-23-2017 20:19 by Conservative Comments (1)  


   messageicon The contributor of these “jokes” tries to soak his own cork. Guaranteed 100%
←Rate | 11-23-2017 20:07 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Obama & Hillary worship Satan for Thanksgiving. Just like every year.
←Rate | 11-23-2017 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this day last year, Obama was serving dinner to veterans. Today, Trump is golfing.
←Rate | 11-23-2017 15:28 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Trump thanks "self" on Thanksgiving. Is anyone really surprised by this?
←Rate | 11-23-2017 13:26 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I called the Butterball hotline to get some advice on dealing with the inlaws, what a waste of time, thanks for nothing Butterball
←Rate | 11-23-2017 10:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things you never hear: Please saw my legs off. Hand me that piano.Do what you want to the girl but leave me alone!
←Rate | 11-22-2017 11:17 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Did you know the Boeing 767 is made up of 3.1 million parts from 800 manufacturers, each of whom was the lowest bidder? Anyways...have safe flight when you head home for Thanksgiving.
←Rate | 11-22-2017 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A buddy of mine told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart... He said, Her brother has a mustache. . .
←Rate | 11-22-2017 10:05 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon "A vodka, please." "Sir, this is McDonalds." "OK, a McVodka please."
←Rate | 11-22-2017 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-22-2017 06:30 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [Watching Porn] How is there not lipstick everywhere?!
←Rate | 11-22-2017 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 21:52 by UKGuy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please buy my new book: Losing weight while staying drunk.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Steyer just donated 25 million to the, "Let's Get REALLY Dumb Foundation"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chuck Schumer just released a new book, it's called; "How to Be a Giant Jack A$$"
←Rate | 11-21-2017 18:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An untalented gymnast walks into a bar....
←Rate | 11-21-2017 16:28 by Sammy Comments (0)  


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