Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I'm pretty sure God doesn't want us to torture animals for the fun of it.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 19:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you fart and it doesn't stink, should you be concern?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 19:17 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:39 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.....
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:37 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 18:34 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon My stock in Memorex and Maxell is going up again. Way to go White house staff !
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm downtown and my prescription for my glasses just ran I can't find my F#$@%^ing Car..
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girl who pushed friend off bridge Is charged after new footage emerges. This would have been prevented if the victim had a gun.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 17:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "If he hasn't pissed you off yet, give him some time, he will."
←Rate | 08-18-2018 15:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t be silly. Those bodies were there when I bought the place.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m white, but not ‘get married in a barn’ white.
←Rate | 08-18-2018 09:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So....what do you think of your military parade now?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 09:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You're never too old to learn something stupid."
←Rate | 08-18-2018 06:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 06:05 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend says I spend far too much time on foreplay! I'd better pull my finger out!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 04:26 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are c0nservatives threatening the jurors of the Manafort trial? Do you people hate America that much?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 03:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bomb that killed 40 children in Yemen was supplied by the US. Gee, thanks Trump!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 03:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone knows how much any other parades cost?
←Rate | 08-17-2018 18:29 by BigRedBubbaJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon A porta potty is a pretty safe place to fart
←Rate | 08-17-2018 16:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scary movie called the Nun is coming out. Nun of the movie is scarier than the previous movie The Priest
←Rate | 08-17-2018 14:50 Comments (0)  


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