Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Charlie Sheern has all this "tiger" blood I guess its only fair Tiger has a little "Charlie" blood.

   Kinda shocking to see that pic of Carrot Top holding Trumps head.

   Maybe Farmers Insurance will do a commercial with Tiger driving now!

   I really hope, for humanity sake, that you people were all up in arms and angry when the picture of Obama and the noose surfaced.

   I didn't get the memo. When do we start hating on Stone Cold Steve Austin, since he gave the Stone Cold Stunner to our lord and savior, Trump?

   "Covfefe" definition: (Noun) A fidget spinner for the National media.

   Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn't think so.

   There's a reason it's called "Girls Gone Wild" and not "Women Gone Wild". When girls go wild, they show their boobs because they want money. When women go wild, they kill men for insurance policies.

   Dante, in his Inferno, posited that the ninth level of Hell was a lake of ice known as Cocytus with the damned encased in ice to progressively greater depths. So in reality, a snowball's chance in Hell is actually 1 in 9.

   Uni-Ball pens missed one hell of an endorsement opportunity with Lance Armstrong.

   Trump has decided to withdraw from the Paris Agreement and the English language.

   I hate when I'm watching porn and my mom walks in. what is my mom doing in this p0rn?

   DUI of the Tiger

   rubix cube: the original fidget toy

   I stand with Tiger Woods, he obviously needs help standing.

   The IKEA #Covfefe organizer clips onto the lid of the toilet seat and holds a cell phone, diet Pepsi, and a plate of .

   Whoever has voodoo doll of me, please have me clean the house and then recline me on the couch.

   I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.

   OK. So I danced like no one was watching. My arraignment is next Tuesday.

   There is nothing worse than a kid with a toy that makes noise.