Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Trump comes to Texas and the sun immediately comes out. Amazing!

   Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.

   I always felt like a boy trapped inside a woman’s body… then I was born.

   When my ex eats alphabet soup she chokes on the D!!!

   If two vegans had an argument, is it still beef?

   Lynn Yaeger? Never heard of him.

   Taylor Swift should have grabbed that microphone from Kanye and said "Sorry, but Martin Luther King Jr. had the best speech of all time."

   Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.

   No I am not aware Taylor Swift has a new album because I don't listen to trash. I throw it out.

   Why are people talking about Trump and hurricane Harvey, when they are not blasting Obama for Katrina. Am I right?

   People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .

   Does any one cares about KKK, white supremacy, Neo-Nazi, illigal immigrants, Confederate Statues in Houston? Just asking for a friend

   Woman cradles and protects child. Man carries and protects both. This is how it ought to be, despite what your gender studies professor says.

   Pastor Joel Osteen won't open his Houston ⛪ church that can hold 16,000 for hurricane victims because it only provides shelter from taxes.

   Pyongyang can't party. It has no Seoul.

   With Lynn Yaeger, we dont need a new Pennywise. She will scare you and steal your shoes.

   Who hates the trumps, especially the first lady? Google Lynn Yaeger. WOW I feel sad for her

   The internet is blowing up over the first lady's shoes?? Is this what we've come to in America??

   There are days when I just want to hear her voice. Then I remember what a nut job psycho she was...

   God created the world in 6 days but took 9 months to create me, so clearly I’m a big deal.