Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   One of those protesting coons home gets broken into and I bet they call the Po Po!!

   I'm confused. What doe the anthem and flag have to do with NFL players protesting police injustice??

   Breaking NFL NEWS Pittsburg's NFLteam is rebranding and will now be known as "The Pittsburgh Kneelers".

   "Courageous Patriots have fought and died for our great American Flag --- we MUST honor and respect it! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" - Says a serial draft dodger.

   its amazing how fast my phone is now that I removed the NFL app.

   To everyone reading this congratulations for surviving the end of the world.

   Place a "DRY PAINT" sign on a park bench. And watch how many people avoid sitting on the bench.

   Cutting a hole in the bottom of a table with a saw to steal a pie is way harder than it looks in cartoons.

   If it was not for the dumb things I did as a kid. I would not have anything to laugh about today.

   Trump invite the Russian national basketball team to the White House. Yeah, nothing's more American than a Russian team, lol

   The San Francisco Giants visited an orphanage in Mexico last week. "It's really sad to see their faces with no hope" said Juan, age 6.

   The people of Puerto Rico have unfortunately discovered just how much power mother nature has. Yet, there will be those arrogant humans who'll continue to think that we're solely responsible for climate change.

   I miss that feeling you'd get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.

   If some of your citizens have lost faith in the flag and country, maybe you needs to try to find out why and address their grievances instead of trying to force them to respect the flag and love their country.

   In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather but there are no cows.

   When she suddenly stop singing while she's bathing, just know she's washing her P*ssy

   Steph Curry is hesitant about going to the White House and Trump takes away his invitation. Tom Brady doesn't go to the White House and Trump doesn't say a word.

   If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won't ask you to cut the vegetables anymore

   Other than insecurity, hatred & racism, sexism & discrimination, greed, infidelity and sheer stupidity most of the human race is pretty much perfect...

   I hope someday I will be able to afford an iPhone X... Like the girl in front of me paying for her groceries with food stamps...