Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Dont wish For a Happy ending It means Something has to end

   Good morning I see the assasins failed

   Sometimes life is hell. But hey! Whatever gets the marshmallows toasty.

   trying to put my m&m's in alphabetical order...

   saw his shadow today! Not really sure what this could mean as far as the duration of winter goes...but very excited about the possibilities. :)

   actually an antidepressant... X must be taken every night before bedtime... But X may cause lightheadeness, a sense of euphoria, and an incontrollable urge to repeat the word yes... X is not for everyone... Ask your doctor if X is right for you...

   i do what I please and I please who I do.

   Religious girls are easy, once I convince them I'm god

   If I ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have a 'song' together, after I laugh, I shall suggest master p - you can be my b!tch

   can you get pregnant from unprotected text?

   Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

   I don't know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think of romance,the last thing I think of is a short,chubby child coming at me with a weapon.

   not sexist; being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for women.

   (̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ _̅_̅_̅() ڪے one of my weaknesses.

   You may attract more flies with honey. But you also attract bears. And those things can rip you to shreds!

   Liquor? I dont even like her.....

   s on a Facebook Dating Application!!.. And You Wouldn't Believe All these Celebrity Looks-A-like's that want to Hook up with me!! I'm Gonna be Dating a girl that looks like Miley Cyrus Suckahs!!"

   amazed by the fact how some symphonies can pull the string of hearts and takes one to totally different environment within seconds and making mood swings followed by lacs of chemical changes occuring in the brain

   thinks. Of all the places to get changed in secret, why the funk would superman choose a small box in the middle of a built up city which to be fair is mainly made up of windows.

   thinks, sex is like any other performance, i.e a stage performance. So as that you dont blow it early on in the show, you must have a rehersal before HAND so as not to leave your audience (partner) disapointed.