Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5769 of 6374
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinking about some chicken fried, cold beer, and wearing a pair of jeans that fit just right!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 13:01 by rturcotte
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Was in hospital waiting room and had sat on a newspaper that was on the chair. This guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" Didn't really know how to respond... So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again...
←Rate |
07-16-2010 12:49 by Tom ...
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Don't judge me. If you're reading this, then you aren't working either.
←Rate |
07-16-2010 12:24 by Felesar
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
put your hands in da air and wave 'em like you just don't care 'cause it's Friday!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 12:18 by cindy
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I just witness a lady shake the sh*t out of her kid in Wal-Mart...she must be a Shakeweight owner!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 11:53
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Did you put the "Baby on Board" sign on your minivan to let me know you have precious cargo OR to warn me that your going to drive like an a$$hole and pay attention to everything but the road? just curious....
←Rate |
07-16-2010 10:54
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Working on working on my evil plot to take over the world. But first, a bowl of Froot Loops!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 08:59
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Don't be sad, don't be blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 08:35
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinking 9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 1000 getting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there sunshine
←Rate |
07-16-2010 08:33
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
O dang the voices in my head are speaking Spanish again....they know I don't understand them!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 08:32
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinks that Edward Scissorhands should be very much afraid of Edward Rockhands...
←Rate |
07-16-2010 08:00 by DAYAM
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
if any more of these Mel Gibson tapes get released you'll be able to buy the box set from Time Life by XMas
←Rate |
07-16-2010 07:22
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I don't care if Monday's blue... Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too... Thursday I don't care about you... It's Friday, and I don't have any real plans for this evening...
←Rate |
07-16-2010 07:21
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
always do right.this will gratify some people and astonish the rest
←Rate |
07-16-2010 06:44
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
has a message to all Gingers. Let Raoul Moat be a lesson. We will find you and make it look like suicide!
←Rate |
07-16-2010 06:31 by deithy
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
just read that movie theatre popcorn is very buttery and unhealthy, in other news..water is wet! :D
←Rate |
07-16-2010 06:03
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.
←Rate |
07-16-2010 01:17
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
←Rate |
07-16-2010 01:16
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.
←Rate |
07-16-2010 01:16
Comments (0)