Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously it's not rocket science.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 18:45 by MBH Comments (8)  


   messageicon w Look at your status. Now back to mine. Now back to yours. Noback to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 17:31 by PiercePetree Comments (2)  


   messageicon The economy is so bad, a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
←Rate | 09-01-2010 16:56 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And some people still wonder why some are afraid when they are told they are loved.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 15:45 by penanco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come"
←Rate | 09-01-2010 15:18 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks drunk driving would be cut in half if people didn't do borderline gay sh*t to you when ur passed out.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 14:30 by Natewilk Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks drunk driving would be cut in half if people didn't do borderline gay sh*t to you when ur passed out.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 14:30 by Natewilk Comments (0)  


   messageicon i can ride my bike with no handlebars no handlebars no handle *crashes*
←Rate | 09-01-2010 13:30 by mommieslittlemonster913 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see someone using a payphone I always think they're arranging the ransom drop off.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 13:26 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you fail at your first two attempts to parallel park, move on.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 13:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks he should change his name to TomTom. I have had at least 5 people today stop and ask me for directions. I guess I look like a guy who knows where he is going… If they only new the truth, LoL
←Rate | 09-01-2010 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never shout out "Fruit Cake" at a gay wedding. You never know who your gonna offend."
←Rate | 09-01-2010 12:42 by DYLAN BOSCH Comments (0)  


   messageicon so someone just told me that, that isn't a water fountain in the bathroom it is something called a bidet, sure works well as a water fountain though
←Rate | 09-01-2010 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Birthday old friend...(note to self) keep fire extinquisher handy just in case.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 10:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just realized me and Eminem could never be in a relationship cause I was be scared he would wanna tie me to the bed and set the house on fire!!
←Rate | 09-01-2010 10:07 by cw Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't run from hurricanes, I drink them.........
←Rate | 09-01-2010 09:55 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife gave me an apple to eat for breakfast. So, this is what Adam felt like.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 09:41 by JRF Comments (0)  


   messageicon For some of you that habitually change your relationship statuses, Facebook should offer an "is being played by _________" option.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 09:38 by JRF Comments (0)  


   messageicon That's a nice suit. When did the clown die?
←Rate | 09-01-2010 09:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies have finally discovered what is wrong with the male brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the rightside, there is nothing left!
←Rate | 09-01-2010 07:30 Comments (0)  




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