Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5632 of 6384
If the creators of Words with Friends took a peek at my score they would totally accept FUCT as a word.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:25
Comments (0)
If you say "That reminds me of a good story," I automatically think "This story's gonna suck."
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:23
Comments (0)
Part of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don't listen to that guy. He's drunk."
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:18
Comments (0)
I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:17
Comments (0)
I've adopted a highway. Well, technically, I just drive like I own it.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:15
Comments (0)
To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 13:06
Comments (0)
You look as guilty as a pedophile on parole at Chucky Cheese.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 12:31
Comments (0)
The government knew those planes were coming!!!! why not shoot them
←Rate |
09-10-2010 11:46 by I.J
Comments (8)
So I saw an old women on a little pink bicycle a few min. ago.....i think she has proven her eligibility for the thug life.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 10:31 by Brad
Comments (0)
sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 09:25
Comments (0)
CNN tried to blame me for 9-11. On that day I turned on the tv and the guy said " if you're just turned on your tv,the world trade center has been destroyed".
←Rate |
09-10-2010 09:14 by Wild Bill
Comments (0)
you know you are on facebook too much if there are no new status message since the last time you logged in..and you have over 700 friends
←Rate |
09-10-2010 08:43
Comments (0)
Post this if you know (or are related to) someone who suffers from stupidity. Stupidity is a real condition and should be taken seriously. There is no known cure for stupidity but we can raise awareness. 93% won't post this because they won't know how.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 08:34 by MHG
Comments (0)
It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that moves us along.
If it's warm, wet, sticky and NOT yours??? DON'T TOUCH IT!
All bleeding stops……..eventually
Nothing witty to be posted.....(wait for it).....today :|
People keep telling me the right man will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.
Yoko Ono will once again oppose the parole of Mark David Chapman - the man who shot and killed John Lennon 30 years ago. Perhaps she ought to rethink that - I hear Chapman has a Jonas Brothers obsession now.
←Rate |
09-10-2010 03:56 by kittykat
Comments (0)
A fat chick served me at McDonalds earlier. She said, "Sorry about the wait". I said, "Don't worry darl, you'll lose it eventually".
←Rate |
09-10-2010 03:53 by kittykat
Comments (0)