Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5521 of 6384
Wants an app called PHARMville, so she can send notes to her friends like "really needing valuim or heavy narcotics soon"
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
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10-17-2010 23:26
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on a Saturday night.
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10-17-2010 23:07 by JenGer98
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In California, we don't throw our garbage away. We turn it into reality TV shows.
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10-17-2010 23:04 by JenGer98
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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell
You need space? WOW. I never knew you were an astronaut.
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10-17-2010 22:39
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Gangsta rap made me do it
My tan has got a bit outta hand, the white man always called me indian squaw SNOOKI that's all I ever heard SNOOKI how I learned to hate the word SNOOKI she's no good they warned, the other children always laughed at me give her a grenade she's a SNOOKI
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10-17-2010 22:08
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thinking up new and creative ways to kill zombies.
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10-17-2010 20:28 by ff1241
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I would love to start working out, but I'm beefing up for my "before" picture.
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10-17-2010 20:03 by Aaron
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Stevie Wonder's Twitter update was hilarious. it said," ahdshewsd€yts".
I will never be led to believe there is someone who won't betray you under any circumstance. Learning otherwise is a lesson learned with great pains.
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10-17-2010 19:34
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The best things in life are free...for now, wait until the government finds a way to tax you on that!
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10-17-2010 19:09
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Goldilocks was an illegal alien
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10-17-2010 18:59
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kids learn from fairy tales. like goldilocks and 3 bears teaches us that you can sneak into people's place, eat their food, break their furnituer and sleep in their beds as long as you can run fast and you are blond!
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10-17-2010 18:34
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saying, i'm not moody, just don't want to talk to you every wed and fri..
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10-17-2010 16:03 by j\'monx
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silence is golden, but duct tape is silver
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10-17-2010 16:03
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so drunk , I thought my toothpaste was astronaut food....
I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits.
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10-17-2010 15:25 by Aaron
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It's always awkward when you run into your ex with a car.
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10-17-2010 15:23 by Aaron
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