Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5515 of 6384
Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........
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10-19-2010 23:32 by Corey C
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so really..what was Meatloaf talking about when he sang he'll do anything for love, but he wont do that?
Yo Kanye, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Lil Jon has one of the best grills of all time. One of the best grills of all time!
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10-19-2010 22:42
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Did anyone notice something about Kanye West this week? Yeah, the fool replaced his bottom teeth with diamonds. DIAMONDS. So instead of a loud-mouth retard, he's a loud-mouth retard that sparkles.
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10-19-2010 22:06 by Melody
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If I have a erection lasting 4 hours i'm not calling a doctor...I'm calling a film crew!
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10-19-2010 22:03
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Great....you discovered youtube. Now, can you quit flooding the newsfeed with the 200 videos you wish to share!!!
"Now, how's he gonna read that magazine all rolled up like that?"... thought the spider.
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10-19-2010 21:45 by Aaron
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I'm sorry Baby, that's gravity. I can't help it that I'm physically attracted to you
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10-19-2010 21:31
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I just wish my mouth had a backspace key....
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10-19-2010 21:31 by Grifter
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You know its trouble when your farts pass warm....
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10-19-2010 21:12
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It's amazing how you can smell so bad, an still be alive.. .
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10-19-2010 21:00
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a supporter of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party"!
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10-19-2010 20:47
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NOTE TO SELF: Buy most Post-Its. You're all out.
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10-19-2010 20:22
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I've got bieber fever!!!! Whenever I hear his name or music I get a fever, headache, nausea
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10-19-2010 20:10 by TOM
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Accidentally clicking the "Like" button while you're Facebook stalking is like accidentally setting off a flare while practicing guerrilla warfare.
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10-19-2010 20:03
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"Find your ideal partner on Facebook"No thanks, I can safely say that one quality I am not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm.
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10-19-2010 19:42 by Din35h
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I once dated a girl who's right leg was slightly longer than her left....I really do miss Eileen.
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10-19-2010 19:29 by johne
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there's nothing like leaving king kong's finger in the local service station's toilet ......
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10-19-2010 19:13
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if you stand on your toilet your automatically high on pot!!!!
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10-19-2010 18:11
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...Sorry, Christine O'Donnell, you are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Thank you for playing, please accept these lovely parting gifts, and GTFO.