Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5483 of 6385
You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meat ya
←Rate |
10-29-2010 19:49
Comments (2)
Liquor Treat!!!
←Rate |
10-29-2010 19:14 by cece
Comments (1)
if you're dressing up like Snooki tonight, allow me to help by rubbing Doritos all over you first ;)
could easily become the "Crazy Cat Lady" for Halloween. I could wear my everyday clothes and pin all the neighborhood strays to them......
←Rate |
10-29-2010 17:39 by Donna
Comments (0)
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish
Ran around today shouting "I'm Free! I'm Free!" Some little kid looked up at me in disgust and said, "So... I'm four."
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:13
Comments (1)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror, she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:11
Comments (0)
WHO's GUILTY? Husband and Wife are sleeping. Wife dreaming at night suddenly shouts "Quick my husband is back". Husband gets up & jumps out of the window!
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:10 by inezt
Comments (2)
There are going to be so many Snookis this year for Halloween. I think I will dress up as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face.
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:09 by inezt
Comments (0)
I'm going to have to start following my brain. My heart is clearly an idiot.
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:09
Comments (1)
I respect you so much I salute you with 1 finger
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:08 by inezt
Comments (0)
Whenever you're talking to someone who is really attractive, the odds of you doing something stupid are multiplied by 100
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:08 by inezt
Comments (0)
let's flip a coin. heads, i'm yours. tails, you're mine
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:07 by inezt
Comments (0)
Dear Heart, I met a boy today.....prepare to shatter
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:07 by inezt
Comments (0)
you will always be the answer, when somebody asks me what I'm thinking about
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:06 by inezt
Comments (0)
Save your breath...no one wants to smell it.
←Rate |
10-29-2010 16:05
Comments (1)
If you have to start your sentance with "Now you know I'm not a bigot..." chances are you are...
←Rate |
10-29-2010 15:42
Comments (0)
Question: IF you have a Harley and all the black assessories like HD T-shirt, Chaps, Gloves, Bandananana, booties..everything ... do you really need to go out and rent an Halloween Outfit? :)
When the phone rings and you want to screw with the caller, just answer saying, "Bob's Orphanage, you make' em we take' em!"
←Rate |
10-29-2010 15:20
Comments (0)