Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5448 of 6385
There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife.
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11-11-2010 07:36 by kman
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Many people are not smart enough to understand their own stupidity
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11-11-2010 07:34 by kman
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A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers
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11-11-2010 07:27 by kman
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Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)
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11-11-2010 06:29 by genny
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You know those packets that come in beef jerky to keep it fresh? I just ate one... And it wasnt half bad..
my freedom, bless yours. Today, tomorrow and always.
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11-11-2010 04:02
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Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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11-11-2010 02:34
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the awkward moment when an emo orders a happy meal at mcdonalds
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11-11-2010 02:06
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heard that the new GW Bush book is a pop-up picture book. Makes sense actually, an author always wants to meet the demographic/target audience.
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11-11-2010 02:03
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everybody always says, "say no to drugs," but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
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11-11-2010 02:02
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I must have ordered the "Johnny Cash" at Taco Bell cuz now I'm experiencing a "Ring of Fire" in the bathroom!
Officer, why did you stop me for speeding? You see all those ahead of me? Clearly their the one's who are the speeders.
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11-11-2010 00:14
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"Has Anybody realized just how dirty Nutri Grain's Slogan(You Only Get Out What You Put In) is?
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11-11-2010 00:04
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Tenative Thanksgiving Menu: A little bit of small pox as an appetizer, some Mass Genocide as the main course, and finish it off with some forced relocation for dessert.
Dear makers of poppies, as much as I respect the poppy and what it is a symbol of, I would have thought that you would have been able to make a more secure fastening device by now. And perhaps one that doesn't stab the wearer several times a day. I'm just
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11-10-2010 23:30 by lynnj
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if they are going to start putting graphic pictures on packs of cigarettes, then they should put deadly dui pics on liquor bottles
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11-10-2010 23:11
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Fruit snacks should just be sold in buckets, to hell with these little packets.
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11-10-2010 22:49
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At the grocery store tonight, I looked down into our basket and realized we live with old people. :(
Never mind being "Popular" in High School.... Now there's Facebook...
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11-10-2010 22:06 by Donna
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Dear Tom Cruise: Life is what you make of it. Not what you make believe of it
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11-10-2010 21:56
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