Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5441 of 6385
Bought a dog that gives up chasing a cat after about 10 seconds. So I'm calling it Quits.
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11-13-2010 08:02
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Just for fun, I left a note of this guys car at Wal-Mart that said, "Sorry for backing into your car". That should keep him busy for a few minutes.
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11-13-2010 07:04
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idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me
A sack of corn nuts and a good Vogue magazine. And I m just fine
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11-13-2010 05:40
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Its not that I'm not that into you. Its more that I'm not into you at all.
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11-13-2010 05:08
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Betty Crocker likes to spoon?
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11-13-2010 03:32
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as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".
How long does it take for an ejaculation to become mature?
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11-13-2010 00:16 by Kelevra
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Ahhh,,, Confucius say...I know I had it in my hand a minute ago.
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11-13-2010 00:07
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I hate getting wet...it always makes little animals pop out of my bac!
Drunk Midgets....i'm pretty sure this is what people come to the internet for.
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11-12-2010 22:45
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I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. ~ Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966)
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11-12-2010 22:21
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Cam Newton is being investigated on animal cruelty charges because apparently video evidence shows him applying beatings to bulldogs, hogs, tigers, chickens, bears, wildcats & wolves. He's stated his intention to beat elephants, ducks & dawgs soon...
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11-12-2010 21:54
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Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.
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11-12-2010 21:25 by BEGO
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Bought a horse that lost its last race on purpose. So, I'm calling it Quits.
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11-12-2010 21:16
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thanks to Mucinex, I always think of my boogers as being dressed like Archie Bunker and lounging in my nose...
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11-12-2010 21:13
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Huh, it turns out those WERE droids we were looking for! Son of a b@&*h!
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11-12-2010 20:48
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Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!
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11-12-2010 20:35
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anyone heard anything about Cam Newton? It's been kinda quiet the past 3 minutes
wonders..... are Kanye West's 15 minutes are up yet?
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11-12-2010 19:56
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