Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5415 of 6385
bored with Sunday. You should go away and ask your friend Saturday to come back.
←Rate |
11-21-2010 03:01 by tracy
Comments (0)
Sometimes I think that if there were a third sex, men wouldn't get so much as a glance from me.
←Rate |
11-21-2010 02:23 by sms
Comments (0)
APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.
←Rate |
11-21-2010 02:20 by sms
Comments (0)
Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.
←Rate |
11-21-2010 02:18 by sms
Comments (0)
(630): The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
←Rate |
11-21-2010 01:13 by RJB
Comments (0)
"Deck the halls with Happy Birthday Faa La La La'up on the roof top is Peter Cotton tail in a one horse open sleigh"..........man, that's a good margarita.....
←Rate |
11-21-2010 01:03 by j-dubb
Comments (1)
I'm one of those people that tried this at home.
←Rate |
11-21-2010 00:24 by Aaron
Comments (0)
doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he has the Dos Equis Guy serve it to him in a dress
←Rate |
11-20-2010 23:20 by jmigas
Comments (0)
can't be bothered going to his Apathy Support Group today...
←Rate |
11-20-2010 22:12 by Scarlet
Comments (0)
fc%ed up like a screen door on a submarine..
Bored? Update your Facebook to "in a relationship" with someone you've never met just to see if they'll confirm.
←Rate |
11-20-2010 20:09
Comments (0)
can't remember the last time I LOL'ed let alone ROTF.
←Rate |
11-20-2010 18:42 by Steve OH
Comments (1)
Sex is like the Star Wars trilogy... there's an invasion, penetration, an explosion and in the end everyone's happy.
←Rate |
11-20-2010 18:26
Comments (1)
just watched 'The Wall' DVD while listening to a Pink Floyd album. If they are started in just the right sequence, the album synchronizes exactly with the movie. The words of the songs almost seem to be coming from the mouths of the actors. Really freaky!
←Rate |
11-20-2010 17:37
Comments (0)
Elvis has left the building.
←Rate |
11-20-2010 17:33
Comments (0)
I would like everyone to know I am almost completely rehabilitated from picking my nose while driving. :)
The Frog... "Time's fun when you're having flies."
←Rate |
11-20-2010 16:04 by Aaron
Comments (0)
The opinions expressed here are not those of my employer, my wife, my church, or myself... But they are the opinions of Elvis as revealed to me through the medium of my pet hamster, Lee Harvey Oswald...
←Rate |
11-20-2010 15:16 by sms
Comments (0)
Warning: Spelling errors in this message are the product of a poor school system. Pay teachures more than athletes.
←Rate |
11-20-2010 15:14 by sms
Comments (0)
There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. - Groundskeeper Willie
←Rate |
11-20-2010 15:13 by sms
Comments (0)