Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5406 of 6385
Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, wondering how long before we see Banging with a Porn Star!!
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11-23-2010 20:29
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Hooked on jenkem!
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11-23-2010 20:26
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Bristol is following in her mother's footsteps, having no talent and people still root for her!
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11-23-2010 20:11
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If God is my co-pilot, then why do I keep crashing?
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11-23-2010 20:01
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I've got Christmas spirit!! I just hung a little Christmas tree air freshener in my car.....ahhhhh smells like the holidays
driving and texting on his new cell pho......sweet merciful Jesus , He's heading right toward us .....freaking maniac
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11-23-2010 19:06 by Banjaxed
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Today is my Friday, but yesterday was not my Thursday, because that's Thanksgiving and we all know Thanksgiving is in two more days, and tomorrow is not my Saturday, it's just Wednesday. Yesterday was Monday, not just in my world, but everywhere. Don't kn
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11-23-2010 19:02 by jpgrw
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I am thankful for the hide feature on FB.
There are more men than women in mental hospitals... which just goes to show who's driving whom crazy.
TSA new tagline: We handle more packages than UPS!
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11-23-2010 18:16
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TSA reports an huge increase in job applications submitted to the Miami office.
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11-23-2010 18:09
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driving out to the family farm for Thanksgiving. But first, a stop at the airport for a quickie.
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11-23-2010 17:58
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Wanna play airport?
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11-23-2010 17:50
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GLORY HOLE (post on your buddy's wall)
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11-23-2010 17:32
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crashing your family dinner on Thursday and bringing along a keg, dancers, a donkey and Cool Whip for the pie!
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11-23-2010 17:28
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believes they should change the "maybe" response to event invitations to "yep, unless I get a better offer before then".
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11-23-2010 17:16
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Dear God, I know you wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle, but right now, I wish you didn't trust me so much...
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11-23-2010 17:10
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TSA: Touching, Squeezing, Arresting...
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11-23-2010 16:31
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having a bad day. the sidewalk tripped me, the wall ran into me and I got hit by a parked car. could my day get any worse? :)
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11-23-2010 16:31
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@ TSA: Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants. Grope discounts available.
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11-23-2010 16:30
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