Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5393 of 6386
seriously thinking she was swapped at birth!
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11-29-2010 00:46 by Jade
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I hope when I die and I'm standing at the pearly gates "trying to get in" that they dont have a list of all the things I have Googled and start reading them aloud !
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11-28-2010 22:38
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RIP Leslie Nielsen. I promise not to call you Shirley.
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11-28-2010 22:12
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Can you imagine how hard it was to check the blindspots on the left side if the Millennium Falcon?
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11-28-2010 21:59
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Jealousy is an illness, get well soon!
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11-28-2010 21:37 by BEGO
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LOCAL CHICKEN FARMER HIRING STAFF FOR XMAS, $ 19.50 HR. I told them about your experience handling c*ck, you start Monday......
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11-28-2010 20:56
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found this pic. on the net. The guys name in the photo was “Mike Litoris”. Oh how he must have been picked on as a child!
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11-28-2010 20:46 by Dita
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You had me at "my giant boobs make my back hurt"
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11-28-2010 20:19 by Aaron
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If they can come out with an app that can do your homework 4 you I swear...
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11-28-2010 19:49 by @steady
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people who migrate to another country should be expected to respect that culture as in no flag burning and wishing that OUR troops should be killed. They should be deported or arrested for treason
Whenever I hand someone my camera to take a picture, they act like I'm asking them to pilot an alien spaceship. JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!
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11-28-2010 18:41
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Acquaintance: a person I know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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11-28-2010 18:40
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WHOOOAAA!!! I smell the strong stench of "MONDAY" brewing!!
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11-28-2010 18:39 by BONNIE
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Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you aren't getting any.
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11-28-2010 18:39
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Hey homeless guy, quick tip: don't panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, we're not that far from you.
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11-28-2010 18:37
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My anaconda dont want none unless you got buns hun
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11-28-2010 17:57
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whoever dies with the most friends on facebook wins
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11-28-2010 17:50 by smeebert
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Studying for these Harvard finals is pretty rough. I should have gone to Yale.
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11-28-2010 17:36 by eftiki
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I so wish my smoke alarm had a "STFU, I'm cleaning the oven setting".
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11-28-2010 17:12 by Mari
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A women's work is never done.especially is she asksk her husband to do it