Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Whenever chicks make that duck face in pictures... I like to imagine it's cause they just got donkey punched in the back of the head.
The purpose of fruit flies; to make people look insane, grabbing at the air like they are hallucinating.
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12-10-2010 16:18 by Heather25
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Hates putting lights on the Christmas tree, she feels like an elf being punished for being to tall
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12-10-2010 16:15
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If attitude was a tool I'd be a weapon of mass destruction, or at least a butter knife.
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12-10-2010 16:12
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wondering if Facebook is hiring because I just put in my 40 hrs this week.
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12-10-2010 16:01 by Heather25
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When a cop asks you, "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" It is never a good idea to respond, "Because my tires look like donuts?"
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12-10-2010 15:58 by Heather25
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just wants to be someones "Dirty little secret!"
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12-10-2010 15:53 by Heather25
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Ever been in such a hurry you try getting out of your car with your seatbelt still on? It wasn't just me right?
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12-10-2010 15:49
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going to triple dog dare someone to lick a flagpole this winter.
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12-10-2010 15:41
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My thermostats are revealing just how cold it is today ~ Note to self: Get a thicker bra...
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12-10-2010 15:37
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Due to the amount of spam by a high number of people playing this number game, I will now block/hide every person from my newsfeed who is doing this.. You have killed our newsfeed with personal msgs and spam. This is not twitter, so please stop
When you are feeling down because everyone is against you just remember that....Nationwide is on your side.
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12-10-2010 15:32 by Heather25
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I'm not feeling myself today....perhaps I should feel somebody else.
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12-10-2010 15:19 by Heather25
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There comes a time in life when all you can do is just slap the b*tch!
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12-10-2010 15:17 by Heather25
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Up against my facebook wall and spread em!
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12-10-2010 15:15
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I just saw a commercial where every line at Walmart was staffed with a cashier. It's amazing what fantasy you can create on television!
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12-10-2010 15:14 by Heather25
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Anything is possible with the right attitude and sledgehammer.
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12-10-2010 15:12
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Well someone has to be sober.......NOT IT!
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12-10-2010 15:06 by Heather25
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Can you go out with me? ❒ Yes ❒Maybe ✔No
An optamist can easily be let down, but a pessamist will never be dissapointed.
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12-10-2010 14:59 by Dy7lan
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