Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5311 of 6386
I can't believe I wasn't paying attention at 1:11 on 1/1/11. Argh. I waited all my life for that to happen. Darn, darn, darn it. 2:22 on 2/2/22 just won't be the same.
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01-01-2011 17:55 by JC
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Just think, next year at this time I will be able to say Happy 2012, but with an evil grin on my face,
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01-01-2011 15:30 by JimmyCos
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Yes Officer, I do know why you pulled me over. To single-handedly destroy any chance I had of accomplishing my New Years Resolution goal of becoming a Saint before the sun even came up this morning.
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01-01-2011 15:11 by Hot Tea
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"Sometimes the unicorn isn't a unicorn, it's just a donkey with a plunger on its face."
I'm gonna have to go ahead and agree with my body on this one.....I shouldn't have drank that......
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01-01-2011 14:32
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First the doctor gave me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me..
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01-01-2011 14:04 by Wolf
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cant believe he just watched the New Kids on The Backstreet Boys bring in the New Year...What a terrible way to brink in 2011
I'm going to replace my car horn with machine gun audio.
Facebook is like an ex girlfriend/boyfriend that your in love with; you might not like all the changes but you still go to it when your bored.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it, and if it changes your life, let it. Enjoy life: you only have one!
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01-01-2011 10:14
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I'm opening a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50
My wife is driving me crazy with nagging! I came back from the store with the list she gave me and now she's all on my case because I forgot ONE little kid.
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01-01-2011 07:00 by @seddy90
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She fell asleep and as usual, I cleaned my balls with a baby wipe for nothing.
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01-01-2011 04:34 by Aaron
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doesn't know whether last night's muchness wrapped up all the partying of 2010 or kickstarted another crazy year of fun fun FUN!
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01-01-2011 03:35 by Elbow
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We can all say "Happy New Year" , but don't forget those who lost their homes and loved ones today due to the tornadoes; I am sure its not a very Happy New Year for some. So for me, I am just thankful for what I still have today.
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01-01-2011 01:27
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My new years resolution is act like I am interested in your new years resolution
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
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12-31-2010 23:51 by Aaron
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they just said that the new year's ball weighs 12,000 pounds..... wait, I thought Snookie wasn't in the ball?? wtf
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12-31-2010 23:17 by levon
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dont ask me about anything thats about to happen last year
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12-31-2010 22:53 by mtravica
Comments (3)
Here's hoping Justin Beiber's balls drop along with the New Year's one.