Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5307 of 6386
Sometimes on FB, I intentionally post a status that is not freakin hillarious, just so my friends think I'm human
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01-04-2011 10:15
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wondering why most people begin to hide their friends list in facebook!
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01-04-2011 09:54
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2011....Who's ready for another lap around the Sun?
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01-04-2011 09:35 by Chuck
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Dear Hillbilly from AR on the news last night, I am sure that all the dead birds in your town were not from Aliens invading earth, I'm positive that if invaders have the technology to come to Earth and wanted to scare you, throwing birds at you would no
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01-04-2011 08:09 by SEAN
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if carrots are so good for your eyes, then why are there dead rabbits all over the road?
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01-04-2011 07:49
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Somewhere there's an alien cleaning bird poo off his spaceship right now.
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01-04-2011 07:47 by Bill
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There are only two possibilities why so many birds died all at once. A government conspiracy testing a new weapon, or the birds flew into the side of a UFO as the UFO was watching all the pretty fireworks that supposedly scared the birds to death.....
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01-04-2011 07:46 by Bill
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It's going to be really funny watching 2012 in 2013.
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01-04-2011 06:36 by Will
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What kills me is the say the birds and fish in Arkansas all died simultaneously due to stress...What stress, do they over due bills to pay or something??
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01-04-2011 06:16 by Bill
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To any and all people visiting Arkansas in the next few days, just ignore all the dead birds and fish! Really, it should be fine....From, Big Brother : )
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01-04-2011 06:15 by Bill
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Textaphrenia- Hearing or feeling vibrations from texts that dpnt exist..
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01-04-2011 03:24 by Skedee
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thinking of exercising with this NY Detox but, I think I get enough of that by fighting sleep, jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running ragged, dodging responsibilty and pushing my luck.
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01-04-2011 03:23
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wonders why dogs run to the door when someone knocks? It's never for them.
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01-04-2011 02:57 by RoN
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I quit eating...cold turkey...now I microwave it..
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01-04-2011 02:34
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I called a company and heard "Baby got back" while I was on hold. At first it seemed cool, but do I really want Health insurance from a company that plays Sir Mix-a-lot?
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01-04-2011 00:35 by flinnie
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9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u) = ? (see comment for answer)
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01-03-2011 23:15
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sooo not a control freak - I just happen to know what is best for everyone else and how they should be doing it!
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01-03-2011 23:12 by Maureen
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If you need time alone, announce that it's time to clean the house.
I know that you don't understand but I think it's cute that you're trying.
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01-03-2011 22:46
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I propose a toast to all my friends who are still with me in 2011. To those who unfriended me in 2010... you can kiss my glass.
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01-03-2011 22:43
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