Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Whenever I get called for jury duty.., I wear my American flag onesie so the lawyers know my brand of justice is pure.

Dumped his body in the ocean? WTF? Who's been watching Sopranos reruns again...
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05-02-2011 14:37
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1. Playstation network hacked by someone in San Diego. 2. Navy SEALS are based near San Diego. 3. Bin Laden shot dead next to a PS3. = A good job by the SEALS but now Sony wants a word with the SEALS....... And they do not look happy!
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05-02-2011 14:27
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I bet there was a lot of cabs and 711's shutdown today,due to mourning.
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05-02-2011 14:19
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I was offered a job today.......Al Qaeda need,s a new leader...I had to turn it down ....couldn't get life insurance
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05-02-2011 14:18 by XBbios
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Now that we found Osama, it's time to find Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and Elvis.
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05-02-2011 14:08
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They dropped megatron into the ocean...and we all know how that went.

Pakistan... An oasis on the coastline of the Arabian sea specializing in the comfort of terrorists seeking an extended lavish getaway.
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05-02-2011 13:36 by gotcha
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wondering if the special forces soldiers answered "house keeping" when Bin Laden asked "who's there"?
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05-02-2011 13:26
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So it took him years to produce a fake birth certificate and he decideds to dump Osama's body in the ocean where there is no proof??? hmm
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05-02-2011 13:18
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"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence upon those who would do us harm." -- George Orwell, via the US Navy SEALS
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05-02-2011 12:52
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Tell them Osama's dead without proof of a body & they celebrate. Tell them Jesus died & rose without proof of a body & they speculate.

It seems in the eyes of his critics, Obama can do no good. He could find the cure for cancer but that would still not be good enough. Obama is the president of United States today and tomorrow, deal with it or migrate.

Damn!! Its worrying! Even Osama bin laden is not safe in Pakistan!
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05-02-2011 12:41
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Micheal C Hall just got done filming his 6 season of Dexter in Pakistan.coincidence?
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05-02-2011 12:41 by Bear
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This status message may contain language that other readers may find offensive and will need to be manually reviewed before being posted on the live site. The manual review process takes 12-48 hours.

The EPA has released that they are going to fine the United States Navy for dumping a piece of shot into the ocean
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05-02-2011 12:37
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what??!! hey buried Osama in the sea? Now will he get 72 virgin mermaids !!
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05-02-2011 12:35
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COMING SOON... OSAMA ON PARADE, sources say he will be dragged behind a series of army hummers, police cruisers and firetrucks,he will be taken to ground zero and they will charge 20 dollars to piss on his body, thus clearing our national debt!!
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05-02-2011 12:29
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Osama committed a classic hollywood horror movie blunder...he answered the door and asked 'who's there'......US NAVY SEALS THATS WHO, MOTHERF**KER!!!! (BANG, BANG)!
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05-02-2011 12:28
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