Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 2 of 6452

   messageicon The sprite from McDonald’s could probably fry some chicken
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon DONT TOUCH THIS” has got to be the scariest thing to read in braille
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever wondered how stupid people knew they were being stupid before the slap to the back of the head was invented?
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it that we Park in a Driveway and Drive in a Parkway?
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saved my husband's life insurance company $500,000 dollars by switching to xanax.
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate being bi-polar. It's really awesome.
←Rate | 08-24-2025 05:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm Sychic and I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking I spelled psychic wrong.
←Rate | 08-20-2025 07:25 by Karrie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harvesting work from paperclips
←Rate | 08-20-2025 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zero by dividing.
←Rate | 08-20-2025 07:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm electrineering the engineers.
←Rate | 08-20-2025 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic at all times.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you develop your personality in a car crash?
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What doesn’t kill you disappoints the rest of us.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You could have been an extra in Chernobyl.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw your picture on social media, and you look like a “before” picture.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t worry, someday the other one will drop.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You do you. Because God knows no one else will.
←Rate | 08-18-2025 19:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pickleball. As if tennis wasn't g@y enough already.
←Rate | 08-17-2025 12:27 by Walter.Koenig.from.Star.Trek Comments (0)  


   messageicon come on guys, off my back, I posted some funny ones this time. Gary K.
←Rate | 08-17-2025 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They’re shady.
←Rate | 08-17-2025 11:27 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left