Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 106 of 6390

   messageicon Accomplishing the impossible means the boss will add it to your regular duties.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is “insufficient funds”.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Robin Thicke can’t even name a second Robin Thicke song
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up making love. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex is selling the vehicle I lost my virginity in. I really loved that skateboard.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A group of guys with ponytails is called a flock of Steven Seagulls
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor: I’ve increased the dosage of your medication Me: Why am I not surprised Doctor: That’s one of the side effects of the medication
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess who I bumped into on the way to see my eye doctor? Everyone…
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I didn’t hear a word you just said-I was looking at your man bun and all I could think of was cinnamon rolls.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can’t respond. That’s where House Horn comes in
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who called it a pillow fight and not attack with a bedly weapon?
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, that way it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you happen to see an FBI agent wearing one of Melania’s dresses, post a photo of him.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s gonna be hilarious when the people who thought that Biden was going to forgive their student loans realize that he gave them a tax increase instead.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only adult knowledge that a third grader needs to know, is that girls/boys have cooties.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that get, “the most votes in history” don’t raid their opponent’s homes. But election stealers do.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A penny found is worth more than a penny earned, because a penny earned is taxed.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:40 Comments (0)  




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