Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   the Real reason Hamid Karzai got handed his second term. That's right... I did it. :P

   jones'ing for a Shamrock shake....

   just taken a hit to the 'nads.... Man down!!

   has developed his own H1N1 Vaccine consisting of: NyQuil, Tylenol-3, Vodka, Rohypnol, Benadryl, OxyContin, Spiced Rum and a hint of Lemon. ---Directions: Drink One Full Glass every hour to Remove all Care and Worry about the H1N1 virus.....

   thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!

   you don't have to be the most handsome guy neither the richest to pick up girls....just be able to lick your eyebrow

   thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!

   late but I am the latest

   ..time is precious so be careful who you waste it on.

   It was so cold this morning she actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets!

   decided to live forever ..................... or die in the attempt.

   leaned with it, Rocked with it..Hit the dance floor and went to do da stanky legg but twisted my ankle and ended up in the emergency room.

   bought a bee-bee gun and a bird-cage.

   Copy this into your status and see what people rate you! 1=Crazy. 2=I'd marry you. 3=Talkative. 4=Sarcastic. 5=Bangable. 6=Clubhead. 7=Moody. 8=Dumb. 9=Spoilt. 10=Mouthy. 11=Random. 12=Hot. 13=Funny. 14=Fit. 15=Amazing. 16= Tough. 17=Cute. 18=GF/BF Type

   thinks the universe is a waste of space..

   you know its going to be a bad day when you get out of bad and you miss the floor..

   ryan howard is the only other person who struck out more than I did this weekend..

   Any negative people today will be greeted with a high five and a swift ball kick.

   accidently cut in front of a dwarf today who told me he was NOT happy. I said, "which one are you then?"

   We have now reached that time of year when we look at the clock and say, OMG it is only 8 oclock????