Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A big nose is no excuse to not wear a mask. I still wear pants.

   OK. Who is the genius who decided to call it "Boob Sweat" and not "Humidtitties"?

   Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty dang expensive.

   Never accept a drink from a urologist.

   When summer comes and California starts burning, try to act surprised.

   If you’re not part of the government and you’re pro mandate you should change your name to Karen

   I'd make a swear jar but I don't have the type of income to keep up with my mouth...

   He had nine days in the desert, why didn’t he take the time to name the horse??

   Ladies, just so you know, 'Mansplaining' is short for 'Man Explaining'...

   No person who calls themselves the President of the United States should be on vacation while the world crumbles down around them.

   Housekeepers at the White House looking at all the puddles on the floor, and as expected, they are following the path taken by Biden.

   Inquiring minds want to know: Is the pride flag still flying over the US Embassy in Kabul?

   I want my 72 hours of my life back that I wasted on Mike Lindell' ridiculous symposium.

   Pessimism is just another word for pattern recognition.

   I can remember a time when we didn’t allow crazy people to be in charge of running things.

   Mowing your lawn on edibles and having those flying grasshoppers coming at you like kamikaze pilots every 2 feet is something.

   I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides stay drunk.

   screw it let’s just name every sports team after colored socks

   Everyone who blamed Trump for everything, are suddenly not blaming Biden for anything.

   "A message from all delivery drivers" If there are no numbers of your house you need to address that.