Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
←Rate | 03-11-2021 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.
←Rate | 03-11-2021 15:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who would of thunk it folks, having a mask, rubber gloves, bleach and hand sanitizer is now acceptable to have in your vehicle.
←Rate | 03-12-2021 07:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex with me is like eating spaghetti with a spoon.
←Rate | 03-12-2021 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a five dollar bill in the laundry and my credit score went up 12 points.
←Rate | 03-12-2021 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Put the mosquitoes in charge of vaccine distribution do I have to think of everything around here
←Rate | 03-12-2021 10:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do all Queers talk like that? I mean all the Lesbians don't talk like a man... I don't get it. They must have something stuck in their mouth.
←Rate | 03-12-2021 10:41 by M740 Comments (0)  


   messageicon QAnon: because the Tea Party wasn't stupid enough.
←Rate | 03-12-2021 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ничего особенного
←Rate | 03-13-2021 03:53 by Allended Comments (0)  


   messageicon A transgender wins women's lifting competition. Pathetic, that's not a woman.
←Rate | 03-13-2021 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon While we're on the subject. I am going to see a transgender male female stripper tonight. I'm confused now. . .
←Rate | 03-13-2021 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I quit my job as a treadmill tester. I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.
←Rate | 03-13-2021 21:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 08:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK. Who is the genius who decided to call them Dentures and not Substitooths?
←Rate | 03-14-2021 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of phasing out fossil fuels, let's phase out the fossils in Congress.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 10:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 11:25 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The subject of entomology really bugs me.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 12:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
←Rate | 03-14-2021 13:12 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex after 60 is like playing pool with a rope
←Rate | 03-14-2021 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 16:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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