Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6103 of 6387
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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03-11-2021 14:28
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Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.
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03-11-2021 15:52 by Fazzy
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Who would of thunk it folks, having a mask, rubber gloves, bleach and hand sanitizer is now acceptable to have in your vehicle.
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03-12-2021 07:30
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Sex with me is like eating spaghetti with a spoon.
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03-12-2021 07:31
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I found a five dollar bill in the laundry and my credit score went up 12 points.
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03-12-2021 07:31
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Put the mosquitoes in charge of vaccine distribution do I have to think of everything around here
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03-12-2021 10:34
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Why do all Queers talk like that? I mean all the Lesbians don't talk like a man... I don't get it. They must have something stuck in their mouth.
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03-12-2021 10:41 by M740
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QAnon: because the Tea Party wasn't stupid enough.
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03-12-2021 22:13
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ничего особенного
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03-13-2021 03:53 by Allended
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A transgender wins women's lifting competition. Pathetic, that's not a woman.
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03-13-2021 17:42
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While we're on the subject. I am going to see a transgender male female stripper tonight. I'm confused now. . .
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03-13-2021 17:43
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I quit my job as a treadmill tester. I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.
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03-13-2021 21:01
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Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.
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03-14-2021 08:56 by Fazzy
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OK. Who is the genius who decided to call them Dentures and not Substitooths?
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03-14-2021 10:15
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Instead of phasing out fossil fuels, let's phase out the fossils in Congress.
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03-14-2021 10:18
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$1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.
The subject of entomology really bugs me.
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03-14-2021 12:38 by Fazzy
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I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
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03-14-2021 13:12 by Luka
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Sex after 60 is like playing pool with a rope
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03-14-2021 14:37
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Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.
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03-14-2021 16:54 by Fazzy
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