Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   never finishes anythi

   given your computer the Swine Flu Virus

   frustrated that he knows all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask him the questions.

   Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

   wondering...DO SHEEP SHRINK IN THE RAIN?

   wishes his lawn was emo, then maybe it would cut itself.

   Give Yourself a Haircut Tip # 1: Don't

   Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?

   knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...

   What if there were no hypothetical questions?

   thinking 'if girls had 'mute' buttons!!'

   Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed

   would give his right arm to be ambidexious

   has logged out. You missed him by mere minutes

   destroyed his periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of supprise

   going to be in such good shape now that he found these WII fit Cheat codes!

   watching paint dry

   For sale 57" flat screen TV 200 Quid Only defect is the volume button is broke.....For that price you can't turn it down!

   loving his new padded room,

   doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless