Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   filling out an application for Obama's death panel. I would like to be a senior member of the panel when Pelosi's number is due.

   I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something....

   Obama promised change.If we are lucky we will have a few pennies from every dollar earned, thats the change we get. makes me wanna get up every day and go to work knowing I am funding health care for the lazy Americans who wont work. Only in America, WOW!

   (RAH)² (AH)³ + [ROMA (1+MA)] + (GA)² + (OOH) (LA)²

   If the best things in life are free? Then why am I always broke?

   So where did they get the flux capaciter for the hot tub anyways?

   If you are taken any E.D.prescription medication and have an a erection lasting more then 4 hours, No need to call the doctor, Just look at a picture of Nancy Pelosi and everything will be back to normal.

   Welcome to Facebook. Feel free to attack, judge and air your own and everyone Else's dirty laundry!! Don't forget to keep it Catty and Cryptic!!

   Dear Warner Brothers: Now that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.

   I just want to thank all the great people in the USA for electing such a great man like Barack Obama. Ever since he got elected there's been so much change. Facebook's layout got changed like 2 times!! Thats impressive!

   How come when old people get free health care it is called something nice like medicare, but when everybody gets it they call it communism?

   I stick my leg out of my covers when its hot, but then I feel unprotected.

   Am I the only one that found irony in Walmart having a whites sale this week?

   [Status removed by Facebook as too explicit to broadcast]

   I doubt, therefore I might be.

   I didn't change, I just grew up. You should try it sometime....

   not been this broke since he went carol singing with the Tourettes Association

   My name is_____ and I can never find a key chain with my name on it...

   I get worried when I see a pattern on my multiple choice sheet....

   I was blown away when I realised the word ' OK ' is a side ways person,...