Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   doing nothing worth mentioning on facebook.

   never been called a Space Cowboy.

   free everyday it's in the constitution

   rearranging furniture at the home for the blind

   hiding false teeth at the old folks home for the Easter hunt

   in court her imaginary friend filed a restraining order against her

   offered in an assortment of colours.

   lost his teddy bear... Will you sleep with me?

   to read directions to cook ramen noodles.

   wishing people would stop sending me crap! I have enough stuff to do

   beware of the "Facecrook" who keeps stealing my friends !!

   stopped to think and forgot to start again

   still misses someone. But his aim is improving!

   receives sound advice from girlfriends. 99% sound, 1% advice.

   used to live in the real world but he got evicted

   now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.

   waiting on the kool-aid guy to burst through my wall!

   played golf today...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

   a pocket full of sunshine.

   finally done with his taxes and has come to the conclusion that taxation WITH respresentation isn't that great either!