Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If I didn't use the bus,i would never have a man opening a door for me.

   Wait "pants on the Ground" didn't make it to Hollywood? He was the best so far!!!!!

   wonders why we worry about 12 inches of snow when we are all at least 5 feet tall or so..we'll be ok

   Oprah got fat again, we can all enjoy that

   shh...my common sense is tingling.

   misssing his ex...... but his aim is getting better!

   Growing up in New Orleans, Peyton Manning always dreamed he would throw the winning pass to help the Saints win the Super Bowl! Mission accomplished!

   Taco Bell is betta than Mc D's for lunch

   I taught my dog to beg today. He came back with £12.75.

   ...I love a girl who loves another girl who loves me...this is a strange triangle, but it could be interesting...

   if only my wife had smaller hands... 'IT' WOULD LOOK BIGGER!

   Love may not make the world spin around but it certainly makes alot of people dizzy.

   A STRESSOR AND AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT, will help you lose weight!

   I have serious communication problems with vegetarians: they consider "food" something I consider only a pleasant interlude between a food and another food. I have problems, but at least I try; with abstainers is better not even try.

   begining to think Facebook has Body dysmorphic disorder, seriously enough with the changes!!! We liked you the way you were!!!

   "We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."

   relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.

   Both Political parties are debating the fault line responsible for today's quake: Democrats says its the Bush's Faultline and the Republicans say its the Obama's Faultline

   Snow on da ground.... Snow on da ground... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground....look at ya now... car spinning 'round.... drivin' like a fool when there's snow on da ground...

   R.I.P PHIL HARRIS FROM DEADLIEST CATCH. WE LOVE WATCHING YOU